Lesson 100: Centennial

So I did it. I've reached 100 posts on this blog. It turns out that its initial purpose doesn't really matter anymore. There were even times when I was blogging and I forgot about the origin in the first place. I guess that's what happens with projects like this.

Of course, I've learned a lot--things that were funny, some that were profound. I had lessons on self-discovery, odd things and even a few painful lessons. In some cases, I confirmed things that I already knew or realized that there were things that I may not be meant to know everything about. There were a few posts that feature poor writing if nothing else, and there were a few that I was hesitant to release but ended up making public anyway. But ultimately, I like to think that my initial hypothesis holds true as long as you are willing to search for something new to learn everyday. Life is willing to offer tons of lessons as long as you are willing to learn.

There were some cases where I realized that what I didn't know was more important than what I did know. There were numerous things that I still don't know, and they make life more challenging, and more painful but ultimately more exciting and more interesting. These things open up new doors, and in doing such, they help me to progress to wherever it is that I will ultimately end up. I've learned that you can't rush these things until they're supposed to come. There's no way of knowing for sure, but I figure that some things that I've always envisioned for my life will come at a time when I am ready for them. It won't be easy waiting for them, but the wait will make them that much sweeter.

Of course, as I reach my 100th post, I look back to my first one, about picking up my pen and starting this project. Will I expect a future husband to teach me something new every day? No. But not having that expectation doesn't mean I won't learn something from him every day. Within these 100 days, I've learned about this man--if he exists at, I just want is to be loved out loud. I want to be needed, and I need to be wanted.

Will I continue with this blog? Maybe. Maybe I'll continue to document things I learn, but given what I've learned, I don't think it's necessary to have expectations of where this (or anything) will go in the future.

Lesson 99: Truth in Cliches

Not even 7:30AM and I've realized that despite my dislike of cliches, there is some truth in them. Distance really does make the heart grow fonder.

Lesson 98: SAT

Today while reading the morning newspaper, I learned a little piece of good news: Washington state has the highest average SAT scores in the nation for the fourth year in a row. In addition, more than half of all eligible Washington state students took the test, a statistic that usually leads to lower test scores.

I've never been a huge advocate of standardized test scores being the sole indicator of success, but I do believe that Washington's accomplishment is significant. There has to be some kind of metric to indicate whether or not students are learning what's supposed to be learned and whether or not teachers are effective in the classroom. Multiple factors should be brought into the equation, but I believe that these test results are a piece of the puzzle in building a better education system in our state. Sure, there are students who learn creatively and don't do well on tests, but the bottom line is that these tests measure the basics of what students should know. And being a "creative learner" who can't pass a standardized test won't get you too far in life...unless you're one of those one in a million artistic talents.

Do we still have a long way to go? Of course we do. But I'll take every little gain because they all matter to that child sitting in that desk.

Lesson 97: Hershey Kisses

I think that by now all of my coworkers know that I like to stash candy in my desk for the midday slump. Hershey Kisses are one of my favorites because they satisfy my chocolate craving without the interference of crunchy nuts or gooey centers (although you can opt for the fancier varieties that include almonds or cherry cordial centers (I don't recommend the latter!)

Today while unwrapping a Hershey Kiss, I noticed that the plume no longer simply bears the "Hershey Kisses" name. Instead, once I pulled that strip of white tissue, I notice that the faded blue writing said "You Rock" and another said "Looking Good." Just what I needed to get motivated for the rest of the day.

Hats off to you, Hershey's marketing department! Way to make give us little self-esteem boosters where we least expect them.

Lesson 96: Invisible Teardrops

I've never been one to show all of my emotions when I've been hurt. There have been times when I think that crying equals weakness, and no one wants to be around a crybaby. But today I came to the realization that no one can go through struggles alone and come out okay.

Humans weren't meant to be alone. Sure we have those moments when that alone time is refreshing, but ultimately, we're better together. And the thing about hiding those sad emotions is that no one can dry invisible tears. It's better to swallow your pride and let those emotions out so that someone can wipe them away.

Lesson 95: Stars Fall, Too

There are so many people in this world who I admire or am even a little jealous of, and I can't help but think my life would be better if I had their circumstances.

But today it hit me:

No matter how great a person seems or how well things seem to be for them, they can still fall. Even people who seem to have perfection down to a T have something about themselves that they'd like to change.

Learning how to be satisfied with what you have may be one of the greatest gifts you can ever give yourself.

Lesson 94: Lies

My brother and I had a long talk today about societal expectations. We spent some time recounting how we were brought up and what life was like when we were kids.

Back then, I didn't expect to be where I am now. I imagined myself living my life in a sequence that women are expected to live it: Graduate from high school. Graduate from college. Become a doctor. Get married. Move into a mansion. Have children...all before the age of 30. Here I am now with less than two years until the big 3-0, and I'm chose not to become a doctor. I'm not married. I don't have kids (unless you count the 4-legged variety) I'm cutting back on my cost of living, so that mansion is nowhere nearby.


Maybe all of those things will come to me one day (except for the doctor thing--I don't do blood), but if they don't, I'm choosing not to accept societal lies that I'm lacking in value just because I didn't meet these expectations that some amorphous "they" set for me. And I learned that such a choice is okay. No matter what, there will be some people who accept me as I am, even if they don't seem like they're nearby.

Lesson 93: Stand Up to Cancer

Who would have thought that 1 in 2 men and 1 in 3 women will get cancer in their lifetime?

I'm terrified.

Lesson 92: Sensible Shoes?

I love heels. They make me feel grown up, and I feel like people take me more seriously when I wear them. That's why, when I'm in a position where I'm in charge of adults who are older than me, I wear heels. The higher the better. But today, I learned that my new position isn't always conducive to 3-inch heels.

Today I was wearing tan Steve Madden heels. So cute. But heels, coupled with a long work day and going between three different buildings make me realize that I may need more practical footwear. I've never been one to wear flats, but I'm afraid that I might have to start wearing them as I go between the offices. Besides, there's a reason why I like to carry big bags...There's room for shoes. :-)

Lesson 91: Forgiveness

Forgiveness. It seems like I've been surrounded by it a lot lately. Why is it that we're so terrified of making mistakes, even when we'll be forgiven? I'm still in the process of learning that "the hardest part is forgiving yourself."

I sit back and think about someone who hurt me recently, and all I can think about is how he needs to forgive himself. I know he took it hard. He knows that he hurt me, and I know he didn't mean to. I still care about him a lot. I've forgiven him. I want him to forgive himself. In the process of all this, I realized that I was angrier at myself than I was at him. I hated my judgment and the way that I allowed myself to be vulnerable.

I guess that this means I'm harder on myself than I am on him. So, my initial assessment remains true: Sometimes the hardest part is forgiving yourself.

Lesson 90: Heart

I've been reflecting these past couple of days about heart, so although these thoughts came early this morning, I guess I'm cheating at my blog again.

People try to do the best they can. They try not to hurt others. But people make mistakes. They disappoint even the people they love and care about, but those disappointments are forgivable if the intentions in their heart are still good. As long as people don't purposely intend to make mistakes, things will be all right in the end.

Lesson 89: Trust

Today while playing with my 3-year old niece, I learned an important lesson in trust.

As an adult, I've never been one to trust people easily. I'm skeptical of people's intentions, and I find it hard to let go of suspicions and just believe them and what they're saying. Granted, this is probably due to the fact that I've had more life experiences and therefore more reasons not to trust people than a 3-year old would, but I was just amazed by how much this little one trusted me. We were playing a game that she appropriately called "fallin'" (she doesn't pronounce "-ing" so well) where she would just fall backwards and I would catch her. She eventually changed the rhythm of the game when she started to fall forward, and I never saw an ounce of fear in her eyes because she believed that much that I would catch her. She would instead just lean backwards (or forward) and laugh as I pretended to drop her but caught her at the last minute.

I'm wondering what it would take to be able to trust like that again. Even in my illogical mind, I can't reconcile trusting everyone all the time, but I would like to know how to trust the people who care about me. Maybe this fallin' business makes more sense than I realize. Maybe you just have to be willing to let go and believe that someone who cares enough will catch you.

Lesson 88: Imagine

According to my 5-year old nephew's knowledge, if you sneeze three times in a row, you'll wake up the giants and the only way to stop them is to burn their house down...but if you really want to escape from them, you have to steal all of their weapons first.

Today while I was playing with my nephew at the local playground, this is the story that he told me. Not only did I learn about what ruffles giants' feathers, I also learned that adults need to be able to imagine as well as kids do. It's not to say that I now believe that there are giants living at the playground or that they'll come after me if I sneeze three times.

I do believe, however, that if adults were willing to let go of the things that keep us from viewing the world through the hopeful eyes of a child, this world would be a lot less tense. Why is it that adults can't solve problems of world hunger, war and greed but a 5-year old can slay dragons and hunt giants? Granted, one is a reality and the other is not, but it seems like something goes away once we hit those rough spots in life. We become more skeptical, and we lose sight of what really matters as we're blinded by fame, and fortune. We stop asking "what if." We stop seeing possibilities in exchange for momentary instant gratification. Value becomes monetary and ceases being intangible.

I guess today was a lesson in humbling myself and just allowing my imagination to run free. Hopefully in the future, I'll get a lesson on where it will take me.

Lesson 87: Fix You

All relationships go through ups and downs. It doesn't matter how good they are. There will be challenges, and the survival of those relationships depends on the people involved.

I recently got hurt by a friend. The pain and the feelings that came with it were inevitable. Being miserable was optional. Today I learned that when it comes to a relationship between two people, outside factors don't matter nearly as  much as what's inside. When the ups come around, you celebrate them together. When the downs come around, you choose whether or not they are fixable and you choose whether or not you want to fix them. Today, against the advice of others, I chose to fix a friendship. There was more value in that then in keeping my pride or holding a grudge. I believe that I made the right decision, but if course, only time will tell. It will just be a matter of letting this journey run its course and making the decisions that feel right when there are forks in the road.

Lesson 86: Family Style

I read in the newspaper (I'm tellin' ya...it's full of new things to learn) that the Tri-Cities is one of the best places in the United States to raise a family. The study, conducted by www.kiplinger.com cited the area's economic growth, science and technology sector, low cost of living and access to parks and outdoor recreation.

I can see what they're saying. Nothing says family fun like Hanford, PNNL, sheep and the Columbia River.

Lesson 85: Pitney Bowes

Office equipment and I have never had a very good relationship, but today I learned how to operate the Pitney Bowes mailing scale at work, and I felt really accomplished. :-)

But even more importantly, I realized that I don't show enough appreciation for our administrative staff that keeps the gears turning in our office.I don't think I ever realized how much they do for us and for me until I actually started having to do some of these things myself. So hats off to all those men and women who do all those little jobs that are necessary but too often go unnoticed. Thanks for all that you do!

Lesson 84: Layers

Every morning before I go to work, I like to read the newspaper and complete the crossword and sudoku puzzles enclosed in the Life section. Sure, this part of my daily routine makes me feel like I'm 40 years old, but it's become a good way to start the morning because it helps get my brain going...and I learn a lot of things. When I got to the Life section with pen in hand, an article about what kids are wearing back to school caught my eye.

So, every Tuesday, the Life section of my hometown's newspaper focuses on something about kids. Today it was about back to school clothes. I have no problem with kids wanting to be hip and stylish, but I question whether the classroom is the place for that. Who is that little girl puckering at?

This photo made me think of Mean Girls. The little girl in the silver boots is the Queen Bee and the blond wants to be like her. And plus, when was it appropriate for kids to sit on their desks like that? We got in trouble for sitting on desks when I was these kids' age.

What's with the positioning of these kids? Is this kid there to hit on little girls, or is he there to learn?

Granted, I know that this spread was done in the name of the fashion. But still, I can't help but wonder why, when learning is the focus in schools, fashion is so important. After reviewing this article, I've learned that I am a strong advocate for dress codes and uniforms in schools, whether they be private, public, or parochial. Sure I want my child to have an outlet for self expression, but the classroom isn't a runway.

Aside from the dress code portion, I'm disappointed in the photo shoot itself. These kids can't be older than 7-8 years old, but they're puckering for the camera with a hand on their popped hip. Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this picture? Am I overreacting? Should school be a place where you should be worried about what you're wearing? I've always been of the belief that if you look neat and clean, you're more prepared to work hard. The opposite happens when  you're just worried about the way you look.

On the flip side, the Life section did have a positive article (albeit much smaller than the fashion one) about a show called Sesame Square starting in Nigeria. Now Nigerian youth will have its own version of Elmo and Rosita in puppets named Kami and Zobi as they learn about AIDS, malaria nets, gender equality and yams. Yes, the article actually referenced yams.

Lesson 83: The Left Side of the Road

Today, while sitting at a coffee shop with a coworker and one of the teens we work with, I learned about why some countries drive on the left side of the road. The teen, a 17-year old male, said that it had to do something with cutting people's heads off. I didn't believe him, so of course I Googled it. This is what I learned:

In the past, almost everybody travelled on the left side of the road because that was the most sensible option for feudal, violent societies. Since most people are right-handed, swordsmen preferred to keep to the left in order to have their right arm nearer to an opponent and their scabbard further from him.

Turns out he wasn't TOO far off. But then I noticed this map of which side of the road people drive on around the world:

Apparently, a lot of these countries that now drive on the right side used to drive on the left side as well for the same reasons mentioned above or because they were colonized by a country that drove on the left. (I'm looking at you, Great Britain!) But why have they maintained that custom? What if the drivers in the orange countries have a sword hidden somewhere? Good thing I have eyes everywhere.

Lesson 82: Humble

Today I learned that the origin of the English word "Humble" is the Latin word "Humus," which means dirt. Good to know.

Lesson 81: Maybe it Hurts for a Reason

Who says you can't learn anything from television?

Lesson 80: Unpretty

My life is filled with disappointments, frustrations and challenges...and metaphors. My life would not be complete without metaphors.

I have said often that "You must take the stairs in this thing called life. There is no elevator to the top."

I've always loved that quote because it reminds me that you can't really excel without hard work and determination. Then I had another revelation--"There is no delete button in life. What's done is done, and what's said is said."

I also believe that, "Good books show wear and tear because they've been read over and over again by numerous people. The boring books stay on the shelf"

Fourth, I've always said that "Scars are not reminders of pain; they are reminders of survival."

And today I realized what I'm going to look like once I get to the top. I'll be sweaty from climbing all those stairs. I'll have a lot of lines crossed out and written over. The pages from these chapters in my life will be dog-eared and torn. And I'll have a whole lot of scars from where I've been scratched, pushed, beaten and bruised.

But I'd be wrong to end this post without one last thing: The struggle is beautiful.

Lesson 79: Goodbyes

My godmother passed away this past Tuesday of cancer. I heard that when it was getting closer to the end, she would see her husband, who had passed eight years prior, and he would come to her and touch her cheek.

Initially, I thought it was a little bit eerie, but in hindsight, it's kind of sweet. Having belief in an afterlife has always given me hope that I'd see the ones I love who went before me when it's my time. I've always said, time after time, that I don't believe in goodbyes. I used to think it was because I just didn't want to let go, but today I learned that it's because when you have a belief in an afterlife, there's no such thing as a goodbye. There's only see you later. Rest in Peace until it's my time, too.

Mama has told me a couple of times that when she held Akash after he died, she saw Jesus, and she knew that it wasn't for her. It was for her boy. And it's that kind of experience that makes her believe that when it's her time, her boy will be there to greet her. That's what makes her tell people, and even Molly "It's okay. You'll see him again." I don't believe in goodbyes because they just don't exist.

Lesson 78: Not All Doors are Created Equally

Today I learned that despite having worked at my current place of employment for five years, there are several doors that I am not familiar with. Not only did I not have keys to these portals until recently, but I also had no idea how to open, close or properly lock them. Today I literally spent ten minutes trying to lock a closet door that I recently gained access to, only to find that it has a latch up towards the top that I can barely reach. I'm sure that if anyone saw me, they were laughing. Also, on the way out of another business that I collaborate with, I got lost and ended up in the middle of a courtyard instead of the parking lot. When I tried to get back in the door I had come out of, it was locked. I then had to get entrance into another door in order to finally get back to my work base. If you don't hear from me soon, it means I have inadvertently worked my way to Narnia.

Lesson 77: Popcorn

Today after work I decided I wanted a little snack, so I stuck a bag of popcorn in the microwave and punched the popcorn button. Since it had been a long time since I had made popcorn, I wasn't sure if the popcorn button would actually pop the majority of the bag. It didn't. Without even opening the bag, I was disappointed at the ratio of kernels to popped corn. I decided to ignore the warning on the bag not to re-heat  and stuck it back in the microwave for another minute. I have now learned the reason why you're not supposed to re-pop a bag of already popped popcorn. Not only does it not pop any more kernels, but it also burns the popped corn AND the bag. It also makes your entire house smell like a big mistake in the Orville Reddenbacher factory. I seriously thought I was going to have to carry my microwave outside to make the odor go away.

Lesson of the Day: Those warnings on products are there for a reason...and the smell of burnt popcorn makes you not want to eat it anymore.

Lesson 76: Not a Hunter

I've said it once, and I'll say it again. This whole learn something new every day process has taught me a lot of things, but most of all, it has taught me about myself.

I've realized that I'm definitely not a hunter. I don't like to go out in search of what I might like. Instead, I have goal in mind before I go out and I aim only for that. I don't step out of my comfort zone a whole lot, and I don't take a lot of risks. I prefer to stick with what I know. My life doesn't consist of series of exciting events. I tend to play it safe, and while this might sound like a logical thing, I'm realizing that it leaves me with few choices. I have no Plan B, C or D, which means one thing or another: I will work so hard that I will eventually complete Plan A or I will miss out on completing Plans B, C. or D, which may be equally as good.

I feel like I'm at a crossroads: Should I become a hunter or should I stick with my bow and arrow, aiming at the one bullseye that I know I want?

Lesson 75: Candle in the Wind

Sometimes that spark that you've been nurturing just starts to fade out and it's no one's fault. No one tries to blow it out. The light just starts to flicker and you're at a tipping point where you're not sure if the light is going to go out or continue to burn brightly.

That's how it goes when something that once interested you just doesn't burn as brightly as you thought it would. You stand at a crossroads trying to decide if you should help the process along one way or another or if you should just let it go its course naturally.

Lesson 74: A Heart's Best Friend

Today I learned that chocolate consumption is linked to lower blood pressure, lower levels of bad cholesterol and reduced risk of stroke and heart attack. The flavonoids found mostly in dark chocolate, keep blood vessels flexible and reduce the clumping of platelets that block heart arteries.

So there really are scientifically proven health benefits to eating chocolate. I guess that chocolate bonbons aren't just for getting over a broken heart. Hershey Kisses can help strengthen it, too.

Lesson 73: The Chase

I've said time and time again that women should make men chase them when it comes to relationships. I've also said that women shouldn't be coy and should "leave breadcrumbs" when they're interested.

In these situations, you begin to wonder "What now?" I'm not a quitter, but I'm also not the type who wants to be the follower or someone that someone else can walk all over, especially when it comes to a relationship. Today I learned that in this game known as "the chase," there is a round where I have to choose  between swallowing my pride and getting over my desire.

Lesson 72: Benefits

Today I learned that when filling out paperwork for benefits it's best to call someone to help you decipher what exactly all that fine print means. No shame. No shame at all in calling a relative who has worked in HR to ensure that you're getting the most out of your brand new benefits package!

Lesson 71: Be Nice

I got home from a trip 13 hours after I was supposed to. After plane malfunctions, vouchers and dealing with numerous airline officials, I came to one conclusion: It always pays to be nice.

Of course, we're always told to be nice and to remember our manners, but at the same time we're told to stick up for ourselves and never let anyone walk over us. When those two lessons of not being a wallflower collide, the result is almost always people who love to yell in order to get their way.

Case in point: After a delayed flight, I found myself running from one terminal gate to another. I reached the gate of my departing flight just as they had closed the door. "Sorry. This flight's closed," the official at the counter said. Right as I was thinking, "Oh no...not again," a group of four people came rushing in and DEMANDED to be allowed on the flight. The group included a man threatening to never use the airline again and a woman who made me SICK by lying and saying she "had to be at a funeral." All I could do was look at this poor woman behind the counter who was having to handle these people because of an issue that was out of her control. Still, she handled the situation professionally and never once raised her voice. As she was on the computer trying to do what she can, I looked at her nametag, called her by name and said, "I know you're doing the best you can, and I really appreciate that. I'm going to take a seat. When you have this situation settled, please let me know." She looked at me and said, "You know what? I'm gonna get you on this flight." And she did. Lesson of the day: You attract more bees with honey than with vinegar. Be nice to people."

Lesson 70: No Coincidences

After this weekend, there is no way that I can believe in coincidences. There are some things that are just meant to happen without any kind of explanation.

Every time I leave a certain place, it rains. Today when I tried to leave it, I was and won't be able to leave until tomorrow. When I checked the date, I realized why. And now there are times when I wonder if I'm ever supposed to leave at all. I've always believed in a higher power and the supernatural. I just wasn't sure if those powers were meant to tell us where we're supposed to be when we're at the crossroads.

Lesson 69: Courtship

This was seriously the first image that came up when I Googled "courtship."

Whenever I see couples who have a good relationship, I ask them about how they met and how they fell in love. I know one couple that has been married for 30-something years and have had two children. I asked the mom how she met her husband. Here's the story:

She met her husband through her older sister, who had brought home a male classmate one day. The sister was asking her mom if she could go to a picnic with her classmates, and in between debates about whether or not she would be allowed to attend said function, her younger 16 year old came bounding into the home. She had been outside running around with the boys and had her hair tied up in pigtails. The mother them said, "You can go to this picnic if you take your younger sister." In order to spite her older sister, she said, "I wanna go!" All the while, the male was watching this younger sister and apparently fell in love right then and there.

The male started to court her by sending her books through her sister. They got married within four years and have been together ever since.

Learning this story made me think about current dating habits in comparison to the so-called "old fashioned courtship." I don't know which is better...or if one is better than another. On the one hand, you have courtship where a man pursues one woman exclusively and on the other, you have dating which can consist of dating multiple individuals at once to see what you want in a relationship. On the surface, dating seems like the better choice because it allows  more flexibility and lets you "narrow down the field," but there's something to say about courtship. If a man is selective and willing to pursue one and only one woman in attempts to get her attention, does it mean that he's less likely to give up on the relationship if challenges arise? And when a man simply dates, does it mean that he isn't sure yet of what he wants?

I can't say I learned the answers to these questions, but I'm curious about why "courtship" that was more prevalent in previous generations has wavered. Divorce rates are higher. People are dating more and getting married later. Were things better back then when creating relationships was more selective? Or are times really changing to the point where those tactics don't work? Despite my desire to be a strong, independent woman, I guess there's a part of me that still has a hopeless romantic living inside.

Lesson 68: Scotchbonnets

While chomping on some amazing Indian food and being told to avoid a certain dish because the host knew that I couldn't handle it (I love it when people know me well), I learned that scotchbonnets are the hottest peppers on the planet.They have 100,000-350,000 Scoville rating while jalapenos have a Scoville rating of 2500-8000. Apparently, you have to wear gloves to handle them. I guess that means they're "too hot to handle." Ba-dum bum!

Lesson 66: Dates

I am a cradle Catholic. I was born Catholic and will likely die Catholic. Nonetheless, I've always been tolerant of other religions and find their beliefs and traditions interesting. I like to learn about why people believe what they do and where those beliefs come from.

In particular, I've had a lot of Muslim friends, and I wonder why they do what they do, too. For instance, how do they know which way to face when they pray? How do they know when they can break their fasts during Ramadan? And why do they eat a date to break that fast? I learned that last tidbit when I asked a good friend of mine why he carried dates with him during our road trip from his hometown of Kissimmee to Jacksonville. After jokes about dates and blind dates, it turns out that Muhammad ate a date to break his fast, so Muslims carry on that tradition. There was also a time when I thought that dates were just dried figs. Turns out they're actually a real fruit.

Look at that--two lessons in one day.

Lesson 65: Second Homes

Today after a long flight to what I have dubbed my "second home," I learned a few things about having a secondary place where you "hang your heart."

1.) First and foremost, a second home comes complete with a second family. They'll pick you up from the airport, tease you on the way home and make you wash their dishes. In short, when you encounter your second family on the way home, it's as if you never left them in the first place.

2.) The door is always open and unlocked.

3.) The food is out on the table. You're expected and encouraged to serve yourself.

4.) The bed is made and a fresh towel and bar of soap are available.

5.) You know where everything is.

6.) In some cases, it's better than your first home because you know you're there  to be relaxed, be taken care of and be loved.

My second home is in a special place that came out of a less than perfect circumstance. Despite those unideal circumstances, I know that I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world. I won't stop going there either.

Lesson 64: Needs

Today I learned the unfortunate fact that some charities in Washington are only able to operate in the counties in which they have offices. If there is no need in that county, they are unable to bring their services to areas where the need is greater but do not have an office. What a dumb rule.

Lesson 63: Entitlements

Today I learned that no matter how good you are or how loyal you have been to a person, cause or organization, you are never entitled to anything. The only expectation you should have is that you will be required to work hard and earn what you want.

I was put into a position where I expected to receive something just because I thought I deserved it. But a life lesson smacked me in the face, wagged its finger and pushed me back before I could snatch it. Rather than simply being handled this something on a silver platter, I had to follow the same process as anyone else and wait until I earned rather than simply received it. While I would have liked to take the easy way, I'm glad that I was forced to earn it because it made getting it that much more special.

Lesson 61: Special Occasions

Today I heard a pretty awesome story that introduced me to an interesting perspective on "special occasions."

There was once a woman who died at the young age of 25. Her fiancee was devastated but wanted to be a part of the funeral preparations. The woman's sister asked him to go to the woman's bedroom to select a dress for her to be buried in. The man went to the closet and started looking through the dresses hanging there. He came across a beautiful silk dress and noticed that the price tag was still attached. Stunned at the price, he removed it from the closet and placed it on the bed. As he ran his fingers across the soft material, he noticed a note pinned to it that read, "For special occasions only."

He realized that his fiancee had never had a chance to wear this gorgeous dress that she had spent a small fortune on because she was waiting for the perfect moment to wear it.

When the woman's sister returned to the room, he angrily slammed the closet door closed and said, "Don't EVER save things for special occasions."

Despite our intentions to save things for special times in our life, those special times may never come...or they may come when it's too late for us to thoroughly enjoy them. It's important to realize that every moment we're alive is a special occasion.

Lesson 60: Believe

Today, while reading a New York Times article, I learned that a child drops out of high school every 26 seconds an that the United States has dropped to #12 among developed nations in 25-34 year olds with a college degree. Aside from being shocked, I was embarrassed.

However, I also finished reading Whatever It Takes by Paul Tough. While the stories of the students and their parents really stick with me, the thing that I remember first and foremost, is the Promise Academy's creed:

I promise to always dream out loud, To lift my head and be proud. And never end up a face in the crowd.

I thought about the first eighth grade class reciting that together at their graduation and imagined what their faces looked like as they lived through that moment. And I though that it was a huge promise not only to themselves but to the people who had witnessed their journey. Sure, the path was strewn with thorns and forked paths, but at some point, someone had to believe that they would make it to that point despite the challenges and despite the odds stacked against them.

What made Geoffrey Canada believe that he could, in essence, save a generation of poor children in Harlem is exactly what we need now. With the American economy in less than optimal shape and nations racing to be the best in the world, there is no excuse for not believing in whatever it takes to succeed. And with the Harlem Children's Zone reaching the successes that it has reached, there's no reason why we shouldn't believe that big dreams can come true with the proper leaders, plan and drive to make it happen.

Lesson 59: Love

I was thinking about this blog this morning. I'm not thinking it's ridiculous or that the premise is stupid. I am, however, starting to question its origin.

Everyday I've been trying to identify something new that I've learned. I figure that if I'm lucky enough to find an extraordinary man, marriage won't be quite like that. Am I really going to stop at the end of every day and ask myself, "Did I learn something from my husband today?" If I do, the marriage probably isn't working out. Not that I know for sure but something tells me there are way better things to do in a marriage than seeing if pre-nuptial expectations are being met.

Maybe I'll get married one day and maybe I'll learn something new from the man I'll spend the rest of my life with everyday. But if I don't, I don't think I'll love him any less, especially if he's still willing to love me unconditionally.

The most important lesson of all in this little experiment: Love matters more than learning...Actually, love matters more than anything...and it makes you think and do crazy things that matter only because love is present.

Lesson 58: Surprises

Surprises can be happy or sad. They can be extravagant or subtle. Some people love surprises. Others, not so much. The content of said surprises matters, as does the time you deliver them.


Today I had the chance to surprise someone with some good news, and her reaction was heartwarming. She was so gracious and grateful for the good news, and I couldn't help but be happy for her. On the other hand, I don't think that some people don't do well with surprises when they come at 6 in the morning. Maybe they do better when they come at other times. Who knows? But the big lesson here is that I'm capable of pulling off a surprise (or am I?)

Lesson 57: Incept This!

 Last night I had a dream about giving birth to a precious baby girl. When she was only two days old, she was able to lift her head and roll over all by herself. Of course I woke up early this morning wondering what having such a precocious baby girl  for a daughter could possibly mean, so I looked it up on DreamMoods. This is what I learned.

Baby

To see a baby in your dream, signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings.  Babies symbolize something in your own inner nature that is pure, vulnerable, helpless and/or uncorrupted. 

If you dream that you are on your way to the hospital to have a baby, then it signifies your issues of dependency and your desires to be completely cared for. Perhaps you are trying to get out of some responsibility. If you are pregnant in real life, then a more direct interpretation may simply mean that you are experiencing some anxieties of making it to the hospital when the time comes. 

That's just a portion of the definition that I pulled from the site. It amazes me that there are actual fields for analyzing dreams. My initial thought after having this dream was simply that I must have been reading to the baby girl while she was still in my womb and that was what caused her advanced development.

Ultimate lesson of the story: Read to your kids.

Lesson 56: Size Matters

Today I was reading Whatever It Takes by Paul Tough and came across the following passage:

"You have to walk in the door with a take-no-prisoners, I'm-in-charge, move-over-a-new-sheriff's-in-town, let-me-at-them attitude."

Pinder was a burly African American in his late thirties with a reputation as a disciplinarian....He wore a tan suit, perfectly tailored to his substantial frame.

This man, Glen Pinder, was charged with turning the Promise Academy charter school in the Harlem Children's Zone around and raising test scores, two daunting tasks that required a lot of structured leadership and unprecedented expectations from students (and parents) who were previously dismissed as hopeless cases.

And while the book is great and I'm enjoying every minute of it, I thought instead about size in relation to leadership. Clearly, Paul Tough thought that Pinder's "substantial size" was important enough to be mentioned, but I wonder what would have happened if a diminutive principal had walked into that school instead. As a female who is shorter than the average 28-year old woman, I've heard all kinds of short jokes. Most of the time I just let them roll of my shoulder. Sometimes if they're particularly creative, I'll laugh. But then again, some of them really get old. But I felt better when I saw today that there are some advantages to being short:

Shorter people are less likely to break bones when they fall, have faster reaction times, greater ability to accelerate body movements and are less likely to get severely injured in a car accident.

Shorter people have a smaller impact on the environment. It was found that people averaging 6 feet and 190 pounds can impact human survival by creating more pollution and depletion of resources, such as water, energy and oil.

Shorter people live longer. Bigger bodies need more cells and duplication of cells is limited.

Short people have a lower center of gravity, and having a lower center of gravity gives someone better balance and stability.

Aside from these scientific advantages of being vertically challenged, I also found these humorous ones from a taller than average girl:

1) You can buy clothes that actually FIT you. If they're too long, who gives a care, you can hem them, it's not that hard. If they're too short, there's not really anything you can do except add different fabric, and that just looks weird, and you can really tell.

2) It makes you cute. :) You're probably sick of hearing it a lot if that's said to you all the time, but at least it's a positive thing, unlike being called a giant. :\

3) A lot of guys prefer smaller girls. They like to protect them.

4) You can slip away easily in crowds. Positive if you WANT to. Negative if you don't, but it wouldn't be the hardest sticking with your posse.

5) People can pick you up, because you weigh a lot less. You can be piggy-backed and all that fun stuff. :)

6) You tend to have smaller feet, therefore it is a bit easier finding cute shoes rather than looking for huge sized ones.

7) When you're dancing, you don't have to duck while spinning under someone's arms...

8) It's easier to do the limbo! :)

9) You don't get interrupted while working every second of the day to help somebody reach something because they're too lazy to grab a chair to stand on.

So I guess that when it comes to being 4'10, I'll suck it up and wait for someone to grab a piggyback ride from so that I can reach the cookies on top of the fridge. :-)

Lesson 55: We're Not Teenagers Anymore.

Today's lesson is brought to you by the cast of High School Musical.

I'm only a little bit ashamed to admit that I've watched this movie...and I have downloaded it to my computer from iTunes. My niece, who was six at the time of the DVD release went so far as to teach her younger brother (who was three) all the song and dance routines. It was the cutest thing, and they (not Zac Efron--I think he looks like an elf) are the reason why I still have that movie on my laptop. And truth be told, it's actually a really good movie with all the wholesome feelgoodness...and of course, I never say no to bursting into song in the middle of a school. (See previous blog posts about Glee and other musicals)

But anyway, I have been asking friends for advice on various aspects of my life and today I got a great piece of advice: "We're not teenagers anymore. Just say what you want." This is how I learned that in order to get what you want, you have to shed your adolescent insecurities and be willing to stand up for yourself. When the time and conditions are right, there's no need to be afraid of speaking up for yourself. Sometimes you can even get what you want out of speaking up. No need to assume that things won't go your way before you even try to get a hold of them.

"This isn't high school" is right. I was helplessly awkward in high school, and while I can't say that I've got enough self-confidence to supply the cast of High School Musical, I like to think that I've become sure enough of myself to go after what I want. And if I don't get it, my ego won't be as bruised as it was when I didn't go to prom with the guy I had a crush on way back when...Thank God.

And aside from all this, I know I'm not a teenager anymore because some of the people I met in high school weren't so great. They were mean and selfish. And while some people haven't outgrown that kind of behavior (sometimes I wonder if I have outgrown that behavior), I'm pleased to say that there are some great people who have walked into my life that make me want to grow up and be a better person. Like you

Lesson 54: Don't Stop Believin'

My previous post was about how running can make everything better. I found something else that can make everything better when I'm feeling down: Glee reruns. (Gleeruns?)

I loved the season finale when the team decided to sing Don't Stop Believin' (Who doesn't love that song?) As cheesy as it may have been, they decided that despite the way that the odds were stacked against them, they were going to enjoy the journey they had been on and not stop believing in themselves.

The odds were clearly stacked against then with Vocal Adrenaline in the competition and Sue as a judge, but they went on stage anyway. And yeah, they lost regionals. But they came out with some pretty great lessons anyway.

This is why Glee appeals to so many people. There are no expectations of perfection or happy endings. It's all about the life lesson that the kids learn, how they're in it together and how no matter what, they don't stop believing in their journey.

Personally, I've learned that the more I doubt myself, the more I cry, but when I believe in myself, people are more likely to believe in me.

Lesson 53: Run Away

We hear over and over again that in order to stay healthy, some amount of regular physical activity is necessary. When I was in college, I used to go to Ramsey, the on-campus gym, several times a week to run and sometimes, for step aerobics. Once I graduated I stopped exercising, making up a million excuses for myself. Fortunately, I picked up running and feel a lot better about myself now. Running is easy. It's just one foot in front of the other and requires no special athletic ability. All you need is a good pair of sneakers and a safe neighborhood.

Today I learned that the psychological benefits of running outweigh the physical ones. For a minute I was about to call BS. But then I thought about my own running routine. Whenever I'm feeling down or like I need to clear my head, I put on my running shoes, grab my ipod and just go until the sadness is gone and I have a blank slate in my mind. When you go running, there's no chance you're going to "get picked last," so your self esteem doesn't get hurt that way. Running gives you time to just be alone with your thoughts. It doesn't cost anything extra. No need for extra equipment aside from the shoes (and I've actually read elsewhere that running barefoot is actually ok because it keeps your body in balance...or something like that), so it doesn't hit you in the wallet. No need to stress out over financial commitments.

And I guess that the reason why I like it so much is that when I'm running, unlike so many other aspects of my life, I never feel like the road is going to judge me on whether I'm doing it right or not.

Lesson 52: The Source of Blame

I follow this thing called The Leadership Yoga on Twitter. I can't remember how or when I started following, but the articles and thoughts posted there and on the Leadership Yoga website are interesting and thought-provoking. Today I read an article that ended with this thought:

Instead of finding blame in the words of scripture or the pages of history, we must search inwards for our own prejudices and fears. They are the culprits

Again, I think it's necessary to give out a little bit of background on myself before proceeding with today's lesson. I was born Catholic, raised Catholic, confirmed Catholic and will likely marry and die Catholic. I've had encounters with great Catholics who are willing to engage in enlightening conversations and I've met some "holier than thou" Catholics who just want to fight and tell me I'm going to hell. But I've also met people of other faith who are capable of engaging in the same enlightening conversation without judgment, and more often than not, I agree with what they're saying.

What I took away from the Leadership Yoga article above was that when we become critical of other people for having a different belief system or even being from a different race, ethnicity, or economic class, we're not doing so out because our religious faith calls us to do so. We're doing it because of our own internal fears.

As our world becomes smaller through technological avenues and instant news updates, we encounter people, ideas and philosophies that aren't necessarily congruent with our own. Yes, these ideas might cause us to become combatant in defense of our own belief systems, but I don't believe that it's impossible to still be open-minded and accepting despite those differences. Our generation offers us so many opportunities to learn from and grown from each other's differences, and that's a very special gift.

I've been criticizes as being "a lukewarm Catholic," and I'm sure that other Catholics may read this and continue to label me as such. But after reading Ravi Kudesia's article, I have to ask: "Who gets to decide that I'm "lukewarm," how can it be confirmed?

All these questions of faith may not be answered. That's what faith is, right? Belief in things unknown or unseen. And no person on earth, whether they are of a certain faith or not can have all the answers. We just do the best we can with what we have and hope that we leave a positive impact during our time on earth.

Lesson 51: Don't Touch Me!

I don't like it when strange people I barely know touch me. I don't like it when strange people I barely know don't get that I don't like them touching me.

There's someone I know who constantly seeks out hugs from everyone, myself included. Let me be clear. I'm not a hug-phobic. It just really bugs me when this person tries to hug me as I'm trying to get away...I'm then stuck in the situation where I have to try to explain the "don't touch me" thing.

But when this happened today, I realized that some people just don't respond well to indications that their advances are unwanted. They need to be told more firmly to back off, but in my case, I feel like I'm in the middle of a catch-22. I do'nt want to scream at the guy to leave me alone but a girl needs her space!

So while I've come to this solution that I need to be firmer, I still have to wonder: Why do we feel this need to "suffer" so we don't hurt someone else's ego? Maybe that will be Lesson 548.

Good luck to me at being more assertive.

Lesson 50: Semi-Centennial

It has been fifty days since I first started this blog, and in fifty days I have come to one conclusion: If you want to learn new lessons every day, you have to be willing to seek them out.

As I look back at the first 49 posts on this blog, I've noticed that there were times when I struggled a little bit to identify what I learned. Sometimes the lessons were simple (like the many times I learned something from the news). Sometimes they were reflective (Seems like a lot fall under this category--those were more like revelations than actual lessons). Sometimes they were downright silly (like the one on WAGs and Victoria Beckham).

Regardless of the depth of the material, I have to say that yes, it is possible to learn something new every day. It may not be a hard fact from the encyclopedia, and that's okay because those aren't the most valuable lessons anyway. I have to admit I've enjoyed the abstract things I've learned about people and about myself the most anyway.

Today's revelation even tells me that it's important to be willing to step outside of my comfort zone to look for new things to learn. This is true with all things. If you want a new job, you have to look for one. If you want a relationship, you have to look for someone special. If you want to learn something new everyday, you have to seek that knowledge. Isn't that what life is all about? No one wants to stay in one place forever. You want to grow, and in order to grow, you have to be willing to step out of the box. What are YOU looking for?

Lesson 49: A Dollar A Week

Today I learned through some website that was referenced on Twitter that the Obama girls get a dollar a week as their allowance. The President and First Lady talk to their daughters about the importance of saving and earning money.

This little tidbit of information made me wonder what kind of financial advice I would give my children if I ever have them. My parents never taught me anything about finances, and while I know that I'm responsible for the unwise money decisions I've made in my life, I have to wonder if I would have spent differently if my parents had influence over my piggy bank. I guess that Finance 101 at the age of 3 is something that I have yet to master but given the economic downturn we're experiencing now, I guess it can never be too late to learn the value of a dollar--or $100

Lesson 48: School's In

I'm an education policy junkie, so when I read the cover story from Time Magazine today on lengthening the school year, I got really excited.

First, some background on myself. I loved school when I was a kid. If I could just go to school for the rest of my life and get paid for it, I would be a billionaire smiling at Oprah on Forbes Magazine (or however that stupid song goes). When kids my age were getting excited about summer vacation, I was getting excited about summer reading lists. And when they enjoyed getting new clothes for the first day of school, I was delighted by the smell of a new box of crayons and would spend hours organizing my new supplies into my bookbag. (Yeah. I was a special kid.) I even pick up school supply lists from the displays in front of Staples now and get a little teary-eyed (I guess I'm a special adult, too) Usually when kids misbehave, parents would take away television privileges or ground their kids. My mom once told me I couldn't go to school when I refused to wear what she wanted me to wear. Some little girls played tea party. I played school. I never napped during naptime because I would have rather been counting blocks or sounding out words. Aside from that, I never understood why my classmates thought school was boring. Sure, it's easy to think that I loved school when I was in elementary school (Who can complain about fingerpainting?) or that I loved being able to play with friends on the playground, but it really was just a pure love for learning that got me excited in the morning when I opened my eyes. I bet you're thinking what the heck?!?

Anyway, this article in Time talks about how kids suffer from something called the "summer slide" in which students had a tendency to forget what they learned the previous year over the summer because they weren't spending any time engaging in educational activities like going to museums, participating in enrichment classes or interacting with other students. The obvious statistics were cited saying that children in low income communities suffered the most because they didn't have access to museums and didn't live in areas that were safe enough to play outside. But what I found to be even more shocking was that American students have long summer breaks, spend more time in the classroom but still get outperformed by students in many other industrialized countries in standardized math tests.

I started to wonder how it could be that American students could spend so much time in the classroom and still not perform better. What are these kids doing in there? Staring at each other and eating bonbons? Then I came to the conclusion that those long idle summers and the summer slide cause teachers to have to review a whole lot of information before moving on to the new material. Rather than going from Algebra to Geometry, students are having to spend the first half of the year re-learning what they had been taught before they can master new skills.

The author, David Von Drehle put it best when  he said, "We associate the school year with oppression and the summer months with liberty-and nothing is more American than liberty...School is regimen; summer is creativity. School is work; summer is play." I wonder what would happen if the American culture valued notebook paper, books and crayons as much as they liked their lazy summer days.

Lesson 47: Great Expectations

When I was int eh 9th grade, I read Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. Although I wasn't particularly impressed by the plot, I couldn't help but become fond of the characters, especially (believe it or not) Miss Havisham. There was something disturbingly charming about her that made me want to believe that the man who jilted her would come back and still believe her to be beautiful in her raggedy wedding dress and rotten cake.

In the wee hours of this morning, I realized that the reason why I relate Miss Havisham is because we all have a little Miss Havisham in us. We all have Great Expectations that although unrealistic to others are completely accessible to us. So many people grow up believing that their dreams will come true, whether they're of graduating from a top-notch university, having a good job, marrying the man/woman of their dreams, having children, retiring in Florida. It's only when other people come into the picture that those great expectations are dashed.

In my recent experiences I've realized that I'm in the position not only to have my dreams disturbed by others but also that I may wreck other people's great expectations. Who am I to be in a position to do such things? Who am I to yank someone from their lofty dreams only to bring them back to an unpleasant reality? All of a sudden, my own expectations don't seem so great because I'm almost certain that I, too, will be jerked back into a place where dreaming just isn't allowed.

I guess that the most important lesson of today is that even though dreams don't always come true and more often than not, we're just jilted brides hopelessly waiting for a long lost lover, dreams are what make reality tolerable. Sometimes holding on to a dream that no one else can see but you is what gets us through the day. It's what makes us believe, and it's what makes us get up in the morning. And don't we all need that kind of push when we'd rather stay in the comfort of our own beds?

Lesson 46: Blood and Ink

It's amazing what you can learn when reading. In this week's issue of Time Magazine, there was a blurb titled "What they're Publishing in the UK." This is what it said:


Luxury publisher Kraken Opus has created a limited edition of the autobiography of star Indian cricketer Sachin Tendulkar-containing a pint of the athlete's blood. The 10 copies have a signature page made of a mixture of paper pulp and the fluid and have already sold for $75,000 each. The company explained that, to many, Tendulkar is a "religious icon." Proceeds from the sales are slated for the sportsman's Mumbai charity.

Ok...Did anyone else just have a WTF moment? I haven't felt this way since I learned that the University of Georgia Undergraduate Library had a book bound in the author's skin on the fifth floor. I never got a chance to see it because I didn't feel like signing my name away just so I could see paper bound in human flesh.

Lesson 45: Peaches and Not Cream

Following the family peach picking trips from last week, I still have tons of peaches in the house on the countertops, in the kitchen, in the fridge. I have peaches coming out of my ears!

So, rather than just eating them as they are, I've been looking for peach recipes. Surprisingly enough, I learned that they aren't just served up in sweet desserts, there are also a few savory recipes out there. These recipes are from http://www.southerfood.about.com

Peach Salsa

Ingredients:

• 2 cups diced peeled peaches
• 1 cup diced tomato
• 1/2 cup thinly sliced green onion
• 1/4 cup diced red bell pepper
• 2 tablespoons lime juice, about 1 medium lime
• 1 to 2 teaspoons finely minced hot or mild chile pepper, or to taste
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh cilantro, or to taste
• dash ginger
• dash garlic powder
• 1 tablespoon orange or pineapple juice, optional
• dash freshly ground black pepper
• sugar or honey, if desired, to taste

Preparation:

Combine all salsa ingredients, tasting and adding sugar or honey if you would like the salsa a little sweeter. It really depends on the sweetness of the peaches. Some chopped mango can be used along with peaches in this recipe. Let stand for 45 minutes or refrigerate for a few hours before serving.
Delicious with grilled fish or pork.
Makes enough for 4 to 6.

Peach-Spiced Chicken

Ingredients:

• cooking oil
• 3/4 cup flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon seasoned pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon paprika
• 6 fryer chicken leg quarters with thighs or chicken breast halves
• 1 cup orange juice
• 1 1/2 cups sliced peaches (fresh,canned or frozen)
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 2 tablespoons vinegar
• 1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1 teaspoon dried leaf basil
• 1 clove garlic, finely minced

Preparation:

Heat 1/2 inch of oil in a large skillet over medium high heat. Combine flour, salt, pepper, and paprika. While oil is heating dredge chicken in the seasoned flour. Brown chicken on all sides. While chicken is browning, combine orange juice and peaches with brown sugar, vinegar, nutmeg, basil and minced garlic in a saucepan. Heat mixture over medium heat. Reduce to medium low and simmer for 10 minutes. Remove chicken from skillet when it is browned and pour off excess fat. Replace chicken and pour the peach sauce mixture over top. Cover and simmer for 20 to 20 minutes, until chicken is cooked through.
Makes 4 to 6 servings.

Peachy Pork

Ingredients:

• 10 to 12 fresh peaches, unpeeled
• 1/4 cup lemon juice
• 1/4 cup soy sauce, reduced sodium
• 1/3 cup honey
• 1 clove garlic, finely minced
• 1/8 teaspoon ginger
• 1/8 teaspoon pepper
• 4 to 6 pound pork loin roast

Preparation:

Cut 5 peaches in half and remove pits. Process to make 2 cups of puree. Blend 1 cup of the puree with 1 tablespoon of lemon juice. Refrigerate. Combine remaining peach puree with the remaining lemon juice, soy sauce, honey, minced garlic, ginger, and pepper. Pour over meat and marinate for in a non-reactive container or large sealed plastic bag in the refrigerator for 3 hours or more, turning occasionally. Drain and reserve marinade. Cook meat on a spit over low coals for about 3 hours, basting often with marinade. Cut the remaining peaches in half and remove pits. About 30 to 40 minutes before the roast is done, place the peach halves on a double thickness of foil under the roast. Brush with marinade and serve as a garnish surrounding the roast. Heat the refrigerated peach mixture with the marinade to serve with the roast.
Serves 10 to 12.

I've never been a fan of mixing sweet and savory, but I am kind of excited to try these.

Lesson 44: Office Related Injuries

After the consideration of recent events, I decided it was necessary to review some office related safety.

First of all, a confession. I am a complete spazz around office tools. There was a time when I used to check, double-check and triple-check the settings on the copy machine (which by the way is like an intern as it can fold, staple and copy documents) before actually hitting the Start button. To be honest, I still don't know how to use a fax machine or the Pitney-Bowes mail meter. But the paper slicer has been the biggest challenge. I'm happy to hear that I'm not the only one as I've seen and heard of other near-tragic occurrences with this paper guillotine.

In fact, paper slicers have been judged to be so dangerous that the Health and Safety Executive actually published a pamphlet about paper slicer safety, which included the following guidelines for using paper slicers:

1. Guards must be provided to prevent the operator’s fingers from contacting the knife or clamp from either the front or rear of the machine. Only one person should be allowed to operate the machine at the one time and where long material is being cut and cannot be adequately supported by the worktable, additional supports should be provided.
2. A hand-operated guillotine should be made inoperative when not in use either by removal of the handle or by the use of a locking or similar device.
3. The shear edges of the blades should be maintained in good condition and blade clearance must be adjusted in accordance with the manufacturer’s recommendation appropriate to the thickness of the material being cut.

And the thing is, all this seems like it's common sense, but when you're in a hurry planning programs and trying to monitor five other things, it's easy to neglect paper slicer safety. But in my research today, I actually found that paper slicer injuries aren't the most common accident in the workplace. Falling is. True everywhere, I guess.

Lesson 43: It Has a Purpose!

Big thanks to 1000 Awesome Things for today's lesson of the day! Who knew that little hole in the sink was for making sure it doesn't overflow. I never knew it had an actual purpose.

It seems like there are probably a lot of other things in life that look like they don't need to be there but are there for a reason...like that little thing behind doors to make sure the doorknob doesn't dent the wall behind it. I used to flick them when I was a kid. (Yeah, I had pretty incredible ways of entertaining myself.) Or those ribbons attached at the armpits of sleeveless, strapless or spaghetti strap tops and dresses. I never knew why they were there until I noticed the little hooks on hangers. Voila! Instant residence for those ribbon loops!

It works with people, too. Just when you think people are in your life just for "decoration," they do something incredible to show you they're there for something much more meaningful than that.

Like you, Tip Fallon. You're there to show me that there are still a lot of good people in the world as long as you're willing to look for them and believe that you deserve to be in the presence of their greatness.

Lesson 42: Bored

I've sat in classes, lectures and even some movies where I have been bored to the point where I wanted to fall asleep. I've also said before that I "have the attention span of a 2-year old."

In terms of relationships, it's also easy to get bored with a person that you share a routine with and see everyday. It got me to thinking: What is it that helps married couples not only stay married but also stay excited and happy with one another? I used to think that it was all about surprises and frequently experiencing new things together. But then I read the following story and realized it was something else:

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

So rather than focusing on new ways to impress someone, maybe the key to a happy marriage is remembering always what it was that you fell in love with and what attracted you to your spouse in the first place. I figure there's a reason why the excitement of the first few dates eventually fades but the couples that make it to their 50th wedding anniversary last because they fall in love with something deeper than the exciting first few dates.

I'm no expert, and this is a lesson that will be ongoing until I reach my 50th wedding anniversary (or something like that). But I have to believe that there's something special about going back to the simple details that cause you to fall in love that makes things un-boring.

Lesson 41: Girl Power

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Today I was reading an Time Magazine article by James Poniewozik and learned that more women earn college degrees and hold managerial positions than men. I had a proud "You go girl" moment until I started reading the rest of the article, which discussed the sparse presence of women in late night comedy shows.

Instead of celebrating the achievements of women, Poniewozik discussed the preference of men in late night comedy. Sure, he mentioned the success of women like Tina Fey, Amy Pohler and Chelsea Handler, but the bulk of the article talked about how late night TV still belongs to the men. Instead of experiencing a moment of girl power, I experienced a feeling of "who cares?"

Women have accomplished so much since 1920 when they just earned the right to vote. Sure, there's still a long way to go, but it seems to me that focusing on their shortcomings takes us back to where we were pre-Susan B. Anthony. It may seem completely un-feminist for me to say it, but I think we'd be better off just stepping back and realizing that no, women don't need to dominate every sector of work, home and play as long as we're given an equal opportunity to pursue success in those areas.

I believe that women naturally put enough pressure on themselves and challenge themselves to be the best that they can be in whatever they're doing. So rather than saying that modern women are now earning more college degrees and holding more managerial positions than men but they're still lacking in late night comedy, maybe Poniewozik would have been better of saying that women are now earning more college degrees and holding more managerial positions than men and stopping there.

Lesson 40: Family Time

This is what my bathroom sink looks like when my sisters came to visit.

This is what it looked like after they left.

My sisters surprised me with a visit this past week, and I was so happy to be able to spend some time with them. Growing up as the youngest of six, I realized it was nice to have a lot of siblings because there was always someone to play with, and I was never lonely. I was reminded of this when my sisters came to visit.

I think that the photos posted above best illustrate my feelings about all this. Having a big family makes you feel full and satiated. But when they leave, you feel a little bit of emptiness.

I think that I've taken my family and having them around all the time for granted. There have been times when I've felt like I'd be happier as an only child or with just a couple of siblings, but this past weekend reminded me of what's so great about having a big family. There are a lot of rough times (the youngest gets teased the most and has to watch everyone leave the family home) but there are a lot of good times, too (the big pile of presents under the Christmas tree and the most awesome family portraits ever!)

This is when I realize that I love my family a lot more than I know, and despite all the moving around, challenges and life changes, family is what keeps me stable.

Lesson 39: Taking Risks, Part 2

So after reflecting on yesterday's lesson, I grew a little bit anxious knowing that the risk I need to take is coming soon. And it makes me wonder: Why do people have an urge to do things that seem so irrational, illogical and so unlikely to come out well? That's when I realized that the possibility of a positive outcome outweighs the disappointment that may come.

The "prize" at the end of the tunnel has to be pretty darn special. As I look at the possible prize (and I hate to use that word in this instance), I realize how thrilled I would be to have it. I guess that this whole taking risks thing is teaching me to grow some courage but it's also showing me what it is that I really want. That has been a surprise, too.

Lesson 38: Taking Risks

Today I was reading an email from my best friend, someone who knows me better than everyone else, and possibly better than I know myself.

You see, I had gone to her with a problem I've been having with getting something I want, and her advice was to "Go for it." There were no reassurances that the things that could go wrong wouldn't or recountings of the insecurities that I had expressed. There was just one line of advice: "If you want this, go for it."

I've always been a bit of a chicken when it comes to taking risks. I used to be terrified of roller coasters, terrified of jumping into pools, terrified of taking a step into a new environment, terrified of speaking to people who intimidate me. And now I'm a little completely terrified of going after this something that I want. I used to think that it was just because of the fear of the unknown, but as I read my bestie's email, I learned that it's actually fear of rejection and fear of failure. All of my insecurities that hinder me from taking risks originate from the possibility that something won't go the way I want them to go or that my ego will be bruised when I face rejection.

So now that I know all of this, the same question remains. Will I find the courage to let go and take that plunge or will I remain in my safety zone?

Lesson 37: Happy Birthday

People who know me know that one of my best friends, Akash, passed away back in 2007. I miss him a lot and think of him every day, but I also believe that he's always here with me, and more importantly, all the great things that he taught me in our friendship are still here with me, too.

Akash would have been 29 today, and I know for a fact that if he were still with us, I would have picked on him for being a year away from thirty. Despite the fact that he's away in heaven looking down on us, I still feel the urge to celebrate his birthday in one way or another, whether it's just writing on his Facebook wall or chatting with people who knew him best.

Anyway, the most important and most meaningful lesson that Akash taught me was the ability to believe, in dreams, in our peers and in myself. I know for a fact that it's an ongoing lesson. Even now when I doubt myself, I hear him say "Come on...you can do this" or "You're better than this." There are so many things that I do now that I'm sure he would laugh at, things that he would push me a little harder for and maybe even some things he would be proud of. In any case, I know for a fact that his spirit is out there somewhere still believing in me.

Lesson 36: Extraordinary

BP Oil spill. Kidnappings. Missing children. A bad economy. Unemployment. Two wars.

When we scan the news channels today, it seems like there's an awful lot of bad news. But today I am spending a good portion of my evening researching nonprofit organizations, and all I see is good news. I am completely inspired by the things that people who work in the nonprofit sector
are accomplishing. Here are a few that I learned about today:

Kids Who Give-Kidz Who Give is a national program celebrating and rewarding kids who are active in their communities! These youth being celebrated by this organization range from kids who have organized other young volunteers to kids collecting books to give to underprivileged communities.

Everybody Wins DC-Everybody Wins supplies children in the DC area with positive role model who reads to DC youth and inspires them to read. Volunteering through books? Sounds like a winner to me!

Kidz Helping Kids-Kidz Helping Kids educates and partners with children and adults globally, who want to be the difference. When I perused through this site I read about kids who were collecting money for children being trafficked in Ghana, sending books to the Philippines and starting pen pal programs with children who went through Hurricane Katrina.

DC Scores-DC Scores is pretty special in that it links athletics with academics. Through soccer, poetry & service-learning, DC SCORES inspires youth to lead healthy lifestyles, be engaged students, & become agents of change in the community.

And the best part is that these organizations that focus on teaching kids how to become agents of change early in life are just the "tip of the iceberg." There are so many young people who are working to make a difference. And these are the people who can grow up to fix things like the environmental disasters, financial meltdowns and violence.

I'm completely inspired by the organization I Got Heart, which gives grants up to $500 known as Heart Awards, to young people in the DC for service projects that they design. And just so it doesn't seem like this is just a platform for an organization I love, I've gotta say that in researching these organizations, the greatest thing I've learned from this lesson is that there is hope. There's hope in this generation. There's hope that things will get better. And there's hope that the young people will grow up to be compassionate and concerned citizens prepared to address the problems of the decades to come not because they have to but because they have the heart to do so.