This morning I read an op-ed article in my local paper reflecting upon schools banning best friends.
My first reaction was "Don't schools have better things to do? Shouldn't this all be about the development of the children rather than what's easier for the teachers?" Then I wondered, "What's wrong with best friends?" That's when I realized that there are different levels of friends, and while some may be more influential than others, they all have some kind of value:
1.) The tough love friend-This is the pal you take with you when you're shopping for new jeans. She'll tell you if you look fat without any kind of remorse. She'll also tell you that the guy you're dating is a complete loser or if you're setting for a dead-end job that doesn't do anything for your career. She'll speak up when you're acting like a punk and you believe what she says. And she gives you the plan...the plan to get over a man...what's the opposite of plan? Jam! (I needed a Friends reference. It just felt right) She doesn't do any of this to be mean. She does it because she knows you can do better.
Value: Always tells it like it is
2.) The "hang out" friend-The hang out friend is the one charged with tasks such as getting movie tickets, securing season passes to your favorite sporting events and cockblocking. He/she is the kind of friend you take out on the town but wouldn't want to go to with relationship advice. The hang out friend is more about entertainment than engagement.
Value=Always up to go out on a Friday night
3.) The childhood friend-Childhood friends are the people you met in elementary/middle/high school and still hang out with as adults. They knew you in your awkward stages and still communicate with you despite your adolescent mishaps. You don't see or hear from childhood friends very frequently, but when you do hear from them, they're all about reminiscing about stupid high school crushes and humorous "remember when" stories.
Value=Knows about the time you peed in your pants on the playground...and keeps it a secret
4.) The work friend-Work friends are far from best friends. You may or may not go out to them after hours, but they're there when you have to sit through boring meetings or when you need to cry about the professional stresses that accumulate from 9-5. If you're really lucky, your work friend will pick up that extra shift so you can go frolicking in the Caribbean.
Value=Covers for you when you screw up in the office...
5.) The opposite sex "just friends" friend-Everyone needs one of these. There's a reason why God made Eve after he made Adam. As a woman, I know that I don't know everything there is to know about men, so I'm glad that I'm fortunate enough to have guy friends who can fill me in on all the "secrets" that men keep. My conversations with them usually start with something like "Why did he do that? What does this meeean?" The best part is that there's no flirty pressure because you know your place. You know there's no romantic attraction. You're okay with the "just friends" relationship.
Value=Telling you everything your spouse/significant other/crush won't
6.) The used to be friend-Some friendships just weren't meant to be. Some people drift away from us or worse, they do something that makes us push them out of our lives. We may cry. We may seek revenge, but after the dust has settled, we remain grateful for what we learned from those "frienemies." We figure out what we don't want and learn how to avoid it later on, and we just let it be because there's no use in dwelling on it.
Value=You learn about what you DON'T want in your life
7.) The best friend-And of course, the best friend--the person who puts up with all of our shortcomings and loves us anyway. Best friends are always there to celebrate the ups and downs. They stand beside you at your weddings and cry with you when your family pet dies. They bail you out when you're in trouble and aren't afraid to take chances with you. They go with you on vacations and know exactly what kind of ice cream to buy when you're experiencing a horrible break up. Best friends are family. They're irreplaceable.
Value=Priceless
The point is that all friends, no matter how long you've known them or how well you know them, have some kind of purpose in your life. Why try to regulate people's harmless relationships? Even more importantly, why try to regulate relationships during children's early developmental years? There are bigger things to worry about.
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