Lesson 53: Run Away

We hear over and over again that in order to stay healthy, some amount of regular physical activity is necessary. When I was in college, I used to go to Ramsey, the on-campus gym, several times a week to run and sometimes, for step aerobics. Once I graduated I stopped exercising, making up a million excuses for myself. Fortunately, I picked up running and feel a lot better about myself now. Running is easy. It's just one foot in front of the other and requires no special athletic ability. All you need is a good pair of sneakers and a safe neighborhood.

Today I learned that the psychological benefits of running outweigh the physical ones. For a minute I was about to call BS. But then I thought about my own running routine. Whenever I'm feeling down or like I need to clear my head, I put on my running shoes, grab my ipod and just go until the sadness is gone and I have a blank slate in my mind. When you go running, there's no chance you're going to "get picked last," so your self esteem doesn't get hurt that way. Running gives you time to just be alone with your thoughts. It doesn't cost anything extra. No need for extra equipment aside from the shoes (and I've actually read elsewhere that running barefoot is actually ok because it keeps your body in balance...or something like that), so it doesn't hit you in the wallet. No need to stress out over financial commitments.

And I guess that the reason why I like it so much is that when I'm running, unlike so many other aspects of my life, I never feel like the road is going to judge me on whether I'm doing it right or not.

Lesson 52: The Source of Blame

I follow this thing called The Leadership Yoga on Twitter. I can't remember how or when I started following, but the articles and thoughts posted there and on the Leadership Yoga website are interesting and thought-provoking. Today I read an article that ended with this thought:

Instead of finding blame in the words of scripture or the pages of history, we must search inwards for our own prejudices and fears. They are the culprits

Again, I think it's necessary to give out a little bit of background on myself before proceeding with today's lesson. I was born Catholic, raised Catholic, confirmed Catholic and will likely marry and die Catholic. I've had encounters with great Catholics who are willing to engage in enlightening conversations and I've met some "holier than thou" Catholics who just want to fight and tell me I'm going to hell. But I've also met people of other faith who are capable of engaging in the same enlightening conversation without judgment, and more often than not, I agree with what they're saying.

What I took away from the Leadership Yoga article above was that when we become critical of other people for having a different belief system or even being from a different race, ethnicity, or economic class, we're not doing so out because our religious faith calls us to do so. We're doing it because of our own internal fears.

As our world becomes smaller through technological avenues and instant news updates, we encounter people, ideas and philosophies that aren't necessarily congruent with our own. Yes, these ideas might cause us to become combatant in defense of our own belief systems, but I don't believe that it's impossible to still be open-minded and accepting despite those differences. Our generation offers us so many opportunities to learn from and grown from each other's differences, and that's a very special gift.

I've been criticizes as being "a lukewarm Catholic," and I'm sure that other Catholics may read this and continue to label me as such. But after reading Ravi Kudesia's article, I have to ask: "Who gets to decide that I'm "lukewarm," how can it be confirmed?

All these questions of faith may not be answered. That's what faith is, right? Belief in things unknown or unseen. And no person on earth, whether they are of a certain faith or not can have all the answers. We just do the best we can with what we have and hope that we leave a positive impact during our time on earth.

Lesson 51: Don't Touch Me!

I don't like it when strange people I barely know touch me. I don't like it when strange people I barely know don't get that I don't like them touching me.

There's someone I know who constantly seeks out hugs from everyone, myself included. Let me be clear. I'm not a hug-phobic. It just really bugs me when this person tries to hug me as I'm trying to get away...I'm then stuck in the situation where I have to try to explain the "don't touch me" thing.

But when this happened today, I realized that some people just don't respond well to indications that their advances are unwanted. They need to be told more firmly to back off, but in my case, I feel like I'm in the middle of a catch-22. I do'nt want to scream at the guy to leave me alone but a girl needs her space!

So while I've come to this solution that I need to be firmer, I still have to wonder: Why do we feel this need to "suffer" so we don't hurt someone else's ego? Maybe that will be Lesson 548.

Good luck to me at being more assertive.

Lesson 50: Semi-Centennial

It has been fifty days since I first started this blog, and in fifty days I have come to one conclusion: If you want to learn new lessons every day, you have to be willing to seek them out.

As I look back at the first 49 posts on this blog, I've noticed that there were times when I struggled a little bit to identify what I learned. Sometimes the lessons were simple (like the many times I learned something from the news). Sometimes they were reflective (Seems like a lot fall under this category--those were more like revelations than actual lessons). Sometimes they were downright silly (like the one on WAGs and Victoria Beckham).

Regardless of the depth of the material, I have to say that yes, it is possible to learn something new every day. It may not be a hard fact from the encyclopedia, and that's okay because those aren't the most valuable lessons anyway. I have to admit I've enjoyed the abstract things I've learned about people and about myself the most anyway.

Today's revelation even tells me that it's important to be willing to step outside of my comfort zone to look for new things to learn. This is true with all things. If you want a new job, you have to look for one. If you want a relationship, you have to look for someone special. If you want to learn something new everyday, you have to seek that knowledge. Isn't that what life is all about? No one wants to stay in one place forever. You want to grow, and in order to grow, you have to be willing to step out of the box. What are YOU looking for?

Lesson 49: A Dollar A Week

Today I learned through some website that was referenced on Twitter that the Obama girls get a dollar a week as their allowance. The President and First Lady talk to their daughters about the importance of saving and earning money.

This little tidbit of information made me wonder what kind of financial advice I would give my children if I ever have them. My parents never taught me anything about finances, and while I know that I'm responsible for the unwise money decisions I've made in my life, I have to wonder if I would have spent differently if my parents had influence over my piggy bank. I guess that Finance 101 at the age of 3 is something that I have yet to master but given the economic downturn we're experiencing now, I guess it can never be too late to learn the value of a dollar--or $100

Lesson 48: School's In

I'm an education policy junkie, so when I read the cover story from Time Magazine today on lengthening the school year, I got really excited.

First, some background on myself. I loved school when I was a kid. If I could just go to school for the rest of my life and get paid for it, I would be a billionaire smiling at Oprah on Forbes Magazine (or however that stupid song goes). When kids my age were getting excited about summer vacation, I was getting excited about summer reading lists. And when they enjoyed getting new clothes for the first day of school, I was delighted by the smell of a new box of crayons and would spend hours organizing my new supplies into my bookbag. (Yeah. I was a special kid.) I even pick up school supply lists from the displays in front of Staples now and get a little teary-eyed (I guess I'm a special adult, too) Usually when kids misbehave, parents would take away television privileges or ground their kids. My mom once told me I couldn't go to school when I refused to wear what she wanted me to wear. Some little girls played tea party. I played school. I never napped during naptime because I would have rather been counting blocks or sounding out words. Aside from that, I never understood why my classmates thought school was boring. Sure, it's easy to think that I loved school when I was in elementary school (Who can complain about fingerpainting?) or that I loved being able to play with friends on the playground, but it really was just a pure love for learning that got me excited in the morning when I opened my eyes. I bet you're thinking what the heck?!?

Anyway, this article in Time talks about how kids suffer from something called the "summer slide" in which students had a tendency to forget what they learned the previous year over the summer because they weren't spending any time engaging in educational activities like going to museums, participating in enrichment classes or interacting with other students. The obvious statistics were cited saying that children in low income communities suffered the most because they didn't have access to museums and didn't live in areas that were safe enough to play outside. But what I found to be even more shocking was that American students have long summer breaks, spend more time in the classroom but still get outperformed by students in many other industrialized countries in standardized math tests.

I started to wonder how it could be that American students could spend so much time in the classroom and still not perform better. What are these kids doing in there? Staring at each other and eating bonbons? Then I came to the conclusion that those long idle summers and the summer slide cause teachers to have to review a whole lot of information before moving on to the new material. Rather than going from Algebra to Geometry, students are having to spend the first half of the year re-learning what they had been taught before they can master new skills.

The author, David Von Drehle put it best when  he said, "We associate the school year with oppression and the summer months with liberty-and nothing is more American than liberty...School is regimen; summer is creativity. School is work; summer is play." I wonder what would happen if the American culture valued notebook paper, books and crayons as much as they liked their lazy summer days.

Lesson 47: Great Expectations

When I was int eh 9th grade, I read Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. Although I wasn't particularly impressed by the plot, I couldn't help but become fond of the characters, especially (believe it or not) Miss Havisham. There was something disturbingly charming about her that made me want to believe that the man who jilted her would come back and still believe her to be beautiful in her raggedy wedding dress and rotten cake.

In the wee hours of this morning, I realized that the reason why I relate Miss Havisham is because we all have a little Miss Havisham in us. We all have Great Expectations that although unrealistic to others are completely accessible to us. So many people grow up believing that their dreams will come true, whether they're of graduating from a top-notch university, having a good job, marrying the man/woman of their dreams, having children, retiring in Florida. It's only when other people come into the picture that those great expectations are dashed.

In my recent experiences I've realized that I'm in the position not only to have my dreams disturbed by others but also that I may wreck other people's great expectations. Who am I to be in a position to do such things? Who am I to yank someone from their lofty dreams only to bring them back to an unpleasant reality? All of a sudden, my own expectations don't seem so great because I'm almost certain that I, too, will be jerked back into a place where dreaming just isn't allowed.

I guess that the most important lesson of today is that even though dreams don't always come true and more often than not, we're just jilted brides hopelessly waiting for a long lost lover, dreams are what make reality tolerable. Sometimes holding on to a dream that no one else can see but you is what gets us through the day. It's what makes us believe, and it's what makes us get up in the morning. And don't we all need that kind of push when we'd rather stay in the comfort of our own beds?